If I wanted your advice, I would have asked for it.
I have attended a multitude of s and pitches, and at some point in the program, the value of a mentor comes up. The entrepreneur is told to either get thee to a nunnery (with apologies to Hamlet) or get thee to a mentor.
Here is the puzzle. It is not just getting a mentor but getting the right one. I liken this problem to picking a shrink. There are numerous, and they all mumble in a similar tone. So, how do you pick?
And I know whereof I speak, having sifted through four or five before I ended up with the same guy for the past 30 years.
I polled some of my pals, and the consensus is this. The entrepreneurs who need advice don’t think they do, the ones who know they do, don’t want to pay for it, and then there are the rest who can pay and know they need, but as Harvard professor, Josh Margolis says, “they have a remarkable degree of overconfidence (after all, they are C-suite) and that overconfidence diminishes the amount of advice they typically seek.”
Let me ask, do you really want to be a consultant?
Margolis and another Harvard professor, David Garvin, have written a book, “The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice.” This seems like one of those books you put on the shelf and do not open. After all, the majority of potential advice customers already “have all the answers.”
The Oracle of Delphi, “Dear Abby” was a daily advice column that by 1987 was running in over 1,200 newspapers (you those things, they used to be thrown on your driveway), and by 2016, the column had a readership estimated at 110 million. Oh, Instagram where were you back then?
And what mistakes do advice seekers make?
They turn to like-minded individuals. They turn to friends who will not confront them. And clearly in that situation, you run the risk of the blind leading the blind. We all know about the one-eyed man. Picking well is job one.
Advice seekers do not define the problem/issue clearly. This is the classic garbage in/garbage out. If you neglect to mention that your company will run out of cash in 90 days, then giving you a strategic business plan that takes 12 months to deliver makes no sense. Long walk, short pier.
Misjudging the quality of the advice they are given. I give advice, you want validation. You know what you know, and the advice you seek is to reaffirm what you know, even though you know you are lost in the desert looking for a Sparklets man. If you want a friend, get a dog.
Garvin works with powerful, competitive people who say, “I’m the CEO for a reason, and your advice is a threat to my expertise.” If I have to eat humble pie, I am going to do it in the privacy of my own office. No fork for you.
On the other hand, the advice giver needs to be transparent and explain how they got to their conclusion. You need to show the trail, follow the beans, you can’t just walk in and tell the client the “answer” without the steps. He won’t be able to hear you.
Do not purport to give advice when you have no idea what you are talking about. Do not fake it. There is a real risk that you do real damage and that is unforgiveable. “First do no harm.”
Also beware boundaries. The affair the CEO is having with the head of business development is irrelevant to the third quarter numbers. Stay on point, and no jumping to conclusions. The butler in the pantry with the candlestick.
Garvin has another nicety. “Avoid giving self-centered advice. Here is what I would do if I were in your shoes.” Well pal, you’re not. Buy your own Chucks.
Garvin advocates careful listening. Listen for what is not being said. It is the gaps and silences that tell a great deal. Patience. Resist filling the space. Probe slowly. If you get resistance and then a scream, perhaps you have found the cavity.
Really good advice is priceless. Don’t leave home without it.
Rule No. 800: Who asked you in the first place?
Senturia is a serial entrepreneur who invests in startups. Please email ideas to [email protected].
