Sez Me …
According to the Canepa Dictionary of Sports Terminology, the true meaning of “Chargering” is: “Anything that can go wrong with a bad athletic team will go wrong and can’t be reversed without a dramatic change, such as ownership and competent head coach.”
Fredo Spanos & Sons, Fishmongers, proprietors of The NFL Team That Used To Be Here — you know, the Judases — is a bad company. Everything in their inventory stinks from the head, who is Fredo, nee Dean Ebenerzer Scrooge Spanos, scion of Alex Silas Marner Spanos, who put his first-born son in charge 30 years ago.
Given everything that has gone wrong (Chargering) with this organization since the family purchased the San Diego franchise in 1984 — especially since it low-crawled to L.A. in 2017 — I thought Fredo was incapable of embarrassment, mortification, shame, ignominy.
He has been the don of The Unblushables.
But apparently what happened Thursday night in Vegas — perhaps the most humiliating defeat (63-21, to a bad Raiders team shut out a few days before) of the post-merger era by any team — was enough for even slow-triggered Fredo to notice.
So, following the happy flight back from Vegas, third-year head coach Brandon Staley, actually allowed on the plane, was fired, along with longtime “General Manager” Tom Telesco.
Staley, who had been a linebackers coach and had one year of excelling as Rams defensive coordinator, was an easy, walk-across-the-hall hire. He never should have been considered. And no chance he should have returned after he and his guys blew a 27-0 halftime lead to Jacksonville in last January’s playoff game.
He was a gambler who couldn’t gamble, a game manager who couldn’t game manage, a leader who couldn’t lead, a defensive coordinator who couldn’t coordinate, a thinker who couldn’t think properly when it mattered. Another Judases head coach who could win nothing with an uber-talented quarterback and a roster that could win NFL games.
Thursday in Vegas, his players quit on him, as if they’d just had their asses kicked at the tables.
Telesco, hired as general manager in 2013, becomes the fall guy. But he wasn’t GM of this team — not after Fredo put son John in charge of football operations in 2015. John was making the final football decisions and no doubt had a big hand in hiring and firing.
Tom is a good football man whose job I’m sure had been reduced to top scout. He’s a good scout, and I’m sure John, not a dummy, listened to him. Telesco was far from perfect, but talk to anyone in the NFL. There are a whole lot of teams who would swap rosters with the Judases in a second.
If not, why are names with big shoes such as Bill Belichick, Mike Tomlin and Jim Harbaugh being thrown around to replace Staley’s smaller size? Justin Herbert is an enormous attraction.
Belichick is the betting favorite. I can’t see him leaving the Patriots for a club in which he won’t have complete control of football ops. Fredo believes in checks and balances, a coach/GM form of government, and knowing that family, I can’t see him firing his son.
Tomlin is a great coach who can scrape the coop and make chicken salad. But why the hell would a smart organization such as the Steelers get rid of a coach whose mere presence means competitiveness?
Harbaugh is said to be working on a new deal with Michigan, and history says he may be too rich for Fredo’s baby-blue blood (as would the other two). But he’s a guy for this. He played in the Spanos organization. He loves Herbert, and he’s a QB whisperer. He resurrected USD, Stanford, the San Francisco 49ers and Michigan.
He’d be a star in a city that loves stars.
This team’s problem hasn’t been an inability to get players. It’s been the inability to coach them. The Spanoses cannot hire coaches.
Fredo needs experience, and now that outside linebackers coach Giff Smith has been named interim during this mini-bye, it’s obvious offensive coordinator Kellen Moore isn’t getting the big job. Maybe it was Staley sitting on him, but Moore’s offense stunk.
I know one thing we’re not going to see if a Belichick, Tomlin, Harbaugh or reasonable facsimile gets the job:
63-21. …
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Would Fredo have the figs to hire Brian Flores? Best head coach not head coaching somewhere. Double-doubt it. But Brian’s defense wouldn’t give up 63 if he played with 10 men. …
The Dodgers have been to all the expensive schools. But they never learn. …
Why is it wrong for a defender to line up in the neutral zone but not a receiver? Kadarius Toney was offside. The official threw the flag before the great play unfolded. Penalty. Chiefs lose to Bills. Tough. …
But I’ve seen film of Toney lined up offsides at least three times before that vs. the Bills and he was not flagged. He also didn’t ask the official if he was OK on any of them, a common practice. …
Patrick Mahomes should cry, all right. His wide receivers stink. They know not what they do. …
Patrick said Toney was “barely offsides,” and then apologized for his reaction. Strangely, he did not mention the inordinate number of calls in the Chiefs’ favor up to two weeks ago. …
A shout out to Travis Kelce for blaming the media for the Chiefs’ troubles. Guess you didn’t want the ringleader role in the media circus you created with Taylor Swift that has your mug selling something on TV every 15 seconds. …
When a great defensive lineman (Aaron Donald) is triple-teamed, how can Aaron’s three buddies not even get a whiff of a quarterback throwing a long ? …
After Phillies pitcher Don Carman got his second big-league hit, he was picked off of second base. Asked what happened, Don said: “I had never been to second base.” …
ESPN actually will have a complete show identifying the 2024 SEC regular season football schedule, instantly making it the most useless reveal in TV history. Everyone knows regular seasons don’t count. Except for the Dodgers. …
The message has been delivered to Draymond Green. He doesn’t get it, but I don’t think he can. …
The “Casablanca” ending left on the cutting room floor. Rick Blaine to Ilsa: “We’ll always have the NBA in-season tournament title.” …
Seeing more and more of it. But I still don’t believe hurdling football players is a good idea. But then, I don’t believe hurdling hurdles is, either. …
Ham & Eggers: Happy to report Bill Swank, San Diego’s Santa, who you callously evicted from what I’ll always refer to as “Christmas on the Prado,” has moved into the spacious North India Street Pothole after realtors showed him several others on Morena Boulevard. New appliances, indoor plumbing, a 50-foot spruce, and a reindeer corral put it over the top. …
Sinatra: “A friend is never an imposition.” Exactly the reason why I don’t have many friends. …
San Diego State has a commitment from a top high school quarterback. Now, was that so hard? …
My question of the year, to Brandon Staley: “Coach, what did you tell the team at halftime?”
